Volkswagen is recalling the ID.Buzz — for a reason so idiotic it almost defies belief

Common sense is something we all need 24/7 — because when it goes missing, we end up with situations exactly like this. The Volkswagen ID.Buzz, that wonderfully quirky electric minivan resurrected from flower-power nostalgia and blessed with all the retro charm one could want, has become the victim of its own comfort. The seats, apparently, are too wide. Not too narrow. Not too hard. Too damn comfortable — too well-designed for America’s federal safety inspectors to get a good night’s sleep.

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), the third row in the ID.Buzz is officially designed for two passengers, complete with two seatbelts. But — shock, horror — three people can actually fit there. And that, dear reader, is a problem. Not because people are being crammed in like sardines, but because if a third passenger happens to slide in, they’ll be — gasp — beltless. And in the land of litigation and extra-large cola cups, that simply won’t do.

Now, you might assume Volkswagen’s solution would be to install a third seatbelt. Logical, right? Or maybe they’d slap a sticker on saying “Two seats only, champ.” But no. Instead, they’ll be fitting plastic limiters — yes, actual bits of plastic — to make the seats narrower. Not safer. Just narrower. So no one thinks of sitting there. If that’s not German engineering at its most obtuse, I don’t know what is.

The recall affects 5,637 ID.Buzz vans, which — let’s be honest — is more than enough to start your own eco-friendly cult. And until someone invents a solution more inspired than a plastic wedge, every unsold ID.Buzz in the United States will just sit in dealer lots, collecting dust and existential disappointment.

It would be hilarious, if it weren’t so thoroughly tragic. Volkswagen finally builds one of the most interesting and characterful cars they’ve made in years… and then trips over a regulatory banana peel that feels straight out of a Monty Python sketch: “Sorry sir, your car is too comfortable. We’ll need it back.”

Wide seats. Narrow regulations. And somewhere in between lies an entire microbus’s worth of missed opportunity.