If Zen Yoga and Bluetooth Had a Baby: Meet the New Lexus ES
The Lexus ES has returned—not as a mere car, but as a smooth-talking, soft-stepping, hyper-intelligent co-pilot that knows more about driving than you do, even if you think you’ve mastered the craft. It’s a rolling temple of calm, the automotive equivalent of a butler who quietly takes your shoes at the door and understands your silence better than your therapist ever could.
On the outside, it’s surgical-clean—think hospital-operating-room clean. Distinctly Lexus, of course, but reimagined as a business-class laptop on wheels. The “Clean x Tech” design mantra may sound like a consulting firm’s slogan, but the results are pure craftsmanship, polished with the finesse of a Japanese tea ceremony. Everything is meticulously placed—except, perhaps, your breath, which may escape audibly when you hear the price.
Inside, it’s a continuation of whispered luxury. Power-adjustable seats? Check. Rear footrest? Naturally. And 17 speakers—because even the conductor dropping his baton mid-symphony should be heard with crystalline precision. Then there’s “Hidden Switches,” a new luxury benchmark where controls reveal themselves only when summoned, like courteous digital butlers. Screens abound: a 12.3-inch digital gauge cluster, a 14-inch infotainment hub with Google Maps and enough apps to manage your life—or at least your playlist.
Model choices include:
ES 300h: the classic hybrid, as quiet and refined as a concert hall usher.
ES 350e: a front-wheel-drive electric variant that surges from 0 to 100 faster than you can say, “Wait, is it moving already?”
ES 500e: the all-electric flagship, packing 343 horsepower, all-wheel drive, and more onboard electronics than the International Space Station.
Worried about range anxiety? Lexus claims up to 530 kilometers per charge and 80% replenishment in the time it takes to receive a misspelled Starbucks cup.
Safety? Try Lexus Safety System+, which now apparently detects cyclists, e-scooters, and possibly lunar eclipses. It can stop the car if you fall asleep—or even just entertain the thought. Excessive yawning? That might trigger a warning, too.
No price yet—but let's be honest, if you’re truly at peace, you’ll embrace the ES for the enlightened being it is… and avoid asking about the price tag entirely.
