A Lada Sports Car? Only if You Consider Nordic Walking an Extreme Sport

While the rest of us were busy enjoying a peaceful holiday weekend, something truly extraordinary was born deep within a parallel reality—also known as Togliatti, the mystical land where Russian automotive ambition still roams free. And from this alternate dimension came an announcement so bold that even the most seasoned Western marketing executives would be left rubbing their eyes in disbelief: AutoVaz unveiled the new Lada Vesta Sport, with a price tag of—brace yourself—2.7 million rubles, or approximately €29,000.

Not a vending machine. Not a gold-plated pizza oven. But a full-fledged Russian sports car, boasting a mighty 145 horsepower. Yes, you read that right. One hundred and forty-five.

Of course, this makes total sense—because what is life without a little shock and a dash of nostalgia? Remember back in 1984 when Audi launched the legendary 220-horsepower Quattro? Well, Lada figured it was finally time to catch up. Only took them 41 years.

But wait—there’s more! If you find 2.7 million rubles a bit too spicy, don’t worry. Later the same year, they’re launching the Vesta Sportline AT, complete with an automatic transmission and, charmingly, a detuned engine. Because nothing says "sporty" quite like less power and more plastic. It’s like bringing a sugar-loaded cake to a keto party—someone’s bound to take a bite.

Naturally, all of this is seasoned with AutoVaz’s signature recipe: take something aggressively average, slap on a premium price tag, and wait for applause. Because, after all, “it’s brand new.” Oh, of course—because new automatically means better, right? A flawless argument for swapping your functional, existing car for this glorified blender on wheels.

Now, to be fair, the Vesta Sport does promise an exhilarating driving experience—provided your idea of adrenaline is rooted in watching football from the couch. But let’s not forget: this is a domestic product. Or as some like to put it, a shining monument to “technological sovereignty.” And really, what could be more sovereign than charging premium money for an underwhelming machine?

Still unsure whether this car is for you? Consider this: for the same price, you could import a Subaru Forester from Japan, pick up a BMW X3 from Germany, or grab a fresh Harrier from Korea. But those are just reliable, well-built, thoroughly boring cars. Where’s the drama? The thrill? The sheer sense of existential risk every time you turn the key?

That—that is what Lada offers you. Experience. Emotion. And moments in the service bay that money simply can't buy. And, of course, the unspoken glory of having your neighbors lean in and whisper, “But… why?”

Welcome to the future. It costs 2.7 million.
And it’s a Lada.