Alpine A390: The Electric Crossover Nobody Asked for, Yet Everyone Wants

Right, so imagine you’re Alpine. You’re known for sleek, lightweight sports cars—nimble little things built for winding mountain roads and charismatic French flair. And then someone at your Monday meeting says: “How about we build a crossover?” Normally, you’d laugh, throw a baguette at them, and move on. But no. Alpine actually listened—and what they’ve ended up with is this: the Alpine A390.

Yes, you heard right. Alpine has finally given in to temptation and built an SUV—sorry, crossover—powered not by petrol or diesel but electricity, because apparently even mountain goats need somewhere to charge their phones these days. This isn’t just any crossover, though; the A390 comes with not one, not two, but three electric motors. That’s three times the lunacy, three times the torque-vectoring madness, and three times more ways to rearrange your internal organs.

But wait, there’s more. Alpine has fitted it with Michelin tyres specifically engineered for this vehicle (because normal tyres are clearly for peasants), and a premium audio system from Devialet, the sort of absurdly expensive French speaker brand you usually find in a Paris penthouse, not strapped inside a family car. And to remind you just how closely Alpine is tied to motorsport, the steering wheel boasts switches straight out of Formula 1—alongside some delightfully soft Nappa leather, so your hands remain comfortable as you unleash chaos.

They’ve even given it a new driving mode called "Track," presumably designed for those spontaneous moments when your school run suddenly turns into the Monaco Grand Prix. The good people at Alpine are currently putting this beast through its paces in the freezing wastes of Lapland—because nothing says "family crossover" like drifting sideways through an Arctic wilderness.

This masterpiece of automotive insanity, featuring design cues borrowed shamelessly from their hydrogen-powered Alpenglow concept, will debut on May 27 in Dieppe, just in time to celebrate Alpine’s 70th anniversary. Production will take place at the brand’s historic factory, while motors will roll in from Renault’s Cleon plant.